


ultimate failures (tm)

by Ender12300



Series: ultimate failures (tm) [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/M, M/M, Texting, text-fic, werewolves are still a thing though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-09 22:31:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12898209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ender12300/pseuds/Ender12300
Summary: scream-queen: isaac get me some chips.literal-puppy: what why meliteral-puppy: and why are you texting me you are literally sitting across from mescream-queen: you're closest to the kitchen and derek and stiles are asleep and i don't want to wake them up.literal-puppy: damn u rightliteral-puppy: brb





	ultimate failures (tm)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/gifts).



> heyyy welcome to my new series about the group chat of Teen Wolf!  
> this was inspired by the lovely lol-phan-af 's hamilton group chat, 1800-did-i-ask !

 

_19:43, Saturday, 12/2/17_

**spark-of-sarcasm** _has created a new chat._

 **spark-of-sarcasm**   _renamed the chat_ ultimate failures _._

 **spark-of-sarcasm**   _added_ **scream-queen** _,_ **truealpha** _, and 6 others to the chat._

 

 **spark-of-sarcasm:** whats up yall

 **scream-queen:** oh god.

 **truealpha:**  y r u like ths

 **point-n-shooty** **:**  scott i love you but please do not type like that.

 **lizardking:**  agreed.

 **catwoman:**  seconded

 **silent-but-deadly:**  Thirded?

 **spark-of-sarcasm:** fourthed??

 **derek-and-broody:** fifthed???

 **literal-puppy:** sixthed????

 **truealpha:**  wow i see how it is

 **truealpha:**  i feel so loved guys

 **lizardking:** dude it literally took you like an entire minute to write that was it actually that hard??

 **truealpha:** what no i was helping my mom

 **catwoman:** mhm thats what they all say

 **spark-of-sarcasm:**  all that aside,,, i made this chat for a VV special reason

 **scream-queen:** what.

 **spark-of-sarcasm:**  DEREK FINALLY GOT A PHONE

 **lizardking:** holy shit?? yeah

 **literal-puppy:** the fuck??

 **scream-queen:**  i didn't know hell froze over.

 **derek-and-broody:**  i feel attacked.

 **catwoman:**  sourwolfs got jokes

 **spark-of-sarcasm:**  get your own nicknames you thieving thief that thieves

 **catwoman:** jealous?

 **derek-and-broody:** stop calling me sourwolf please.

 **spark-of-sarcasm:**  hell no the fuck??

 **catwoman:**  me and boyd both say no

 **lizardking:** no

 **scream-queen:** no.

 **point-n-shooty:** scott and isaac are playing video games now but all three of us say no.

 **derek-and-broody:** god dammit. also, why are we texting? 

 **spark-of-sarcasm:**  was that an invitation for pack night i heard?????

 **derek-and-broody:** wait what no stop it.

 **point-n-shooty:**  oh my god isaac and scott just crashed into each other when i told them we were having pack night

 **derek-and-broody** **:** i just said no pack night!

 **catwoman** **:** too bad sourwolf boyds driving

 **spark-of-sarcasm:**  hey

 **derek-and-broody:** hey!

 **spark-and-sarcasm:**  jinx you owe me a soda

 **derek-and-broody:**  goddammit.

 **scream-queen:** i brought oreos.

 **spark-of-sarcasm:** holy shit you are a literal queen ily

 **lizardking:** hands off, stilinski.

 **catwoman:** what the fuCK are you doing hurry the fuck uP

 **literal-puppy:** we already picked the movie and got the GOODBLANKETS **(TM)** that have wolves and moons on them theyre so fucking soft???

 **derek-and-broody:** where the hell did you find those i hid them in my closet.

 **silent-but-deadly:** You just answered your own question, Derek, and didn't Stiles give them to you as a prank?

 **spark-of-sarcasm:** yooooo i thought you gave them away!!! you still have them? 

 **derek-and-broody:** god please save me.

 **catwoman:** HURRY THE FUCK UP BATMAN OR I WILL HIT YOUR HEAD WITH AN ENGINE AGAIN

 **spark-of** **-sarcasm:** IM HERE IIM HERE CHILLAX

 

_23:02, Saturday, 12/2/17_

 

 **scream-queen:** isaac get me some chips.

 **literal-puppy:** what why me

 **literal-puppy:** and why are you texting me you are literally sitting across from me

 **s **cream** -queen _:_**  you're closest to the kitchen and derek and stiles are asleep and i don't want to wake them up.

 **literal-puppy:** damn u right  
  
**literal-puppy:** brb

 

_23:53, Saturday, 12/2/17_

 

 **catwoman:**  okay im not saying derek and stiles look so cute together but derek and stiles look so cute together

 **truealpha:** thy need 2 get 2gether

 **scream-queen:** first of all, what did we say? second of all, yes. 

 **truealpha:** sry

 **truealpha:** *SORRY

 **truealpha:** better?

 **scream-queen:** much. much better.

 **literal-puppy:** shut the fuck up guys i think stiles and derek are having a conversation in their sleep holy shit

 **lizardking:** what the fuck????? they totally are.

 **silent-but-deadly:** I've already started recording, don't worry. 

 **catwoman:** i love you so much  <333

 

 **silent-but-deadly** _sent a video to_ ultimate failures

 _(_ _video)_

_Stiles's head is laying on Derek's head and Stiles's arm is across Derek's chest. Derek's head is on Stiles's, nose in his hair, and his arm is behind Stiles's shoulder. They're half holding hands._

**Stiles** _ **:**  _"What 'bout the cats?"

 **Derek:** "They'll be fine, they're inside..."

 **Stiles:** "What about the kid?"

 **Derek:** "He's fine, fine." 

_Stiles shifts around, burrowing his face in Derek's neck. Derek inhales deeply before sighing. A small, excited whisper is heard in the background from Erica. Derek's eyebrows furrow but he stays asleep._

**Stiles:** "You're so soft..."

_Stiles shifts again, this time wrapping his arm tighter around Derek. Derek pulls Stiles closer while moving so that their hands were tighter together. The video then cuts off._

_(end video)_

 

 **catwoman:**  i ship them so much what the hell

 **scream-queen:** why haven't they gotten together yet? like, seriously you two.

 **literal-puppy:** wait lyds are they actually not together??? scott??

 **truealpha** **:** i mean they havent told me anythin so i guess 

 **lizardking:** they fight all the time irl?? maybe they're hate fucking. like, really angrily, because they don't want to admit that they actually love each other, and thus are stuck having really tense and depressing sex because they don't know that the other one loves them.

 **truealpha:** ew y did u say that

 **truealpha:** nw the imge of stiles n derek h8 fucking is stuck in my hed

 **point-n-shooty:** i'm sorry but wHAT the FUck jackson

 **literal-puppy:**  THE VIDEO WAS SO CUTE AND THEN YOU RUINED IT YOU DISGUSTING COMMIE SCUM

 **scream-queen:** disgusting commie scum??

 **silent-but-deadly:** Shrek is a bad influence.

 **lizardking:** how does shrek have to do with anything??

 **catwoman:** you ain't got no room to talk you piece of ship-ruiner scum

 **point-n-shooty:** well let's get more pictures though

 **truealpha:** hll ya blckmail

 **scream-queen:** Scott McCall.

 **truealpha:** sorry lydia...

   

 

**Author's Note:**

> if it wasnt obvious, here are the usernames:  
> Stiles: spark-of-sarcasm  
> Derek: derek-and-broody  
> Scott: truealpha  
> Allison: point-n-shooty  
> Lydia: scream-queen  
> Jackson: lizardking  
> Erica: catwoman  
> Boyd: silent-but-deadly  
> Isaac: literal-puppy
> 
> Sorry for the short fic btw, the next ones will be longer, i promise!!!!


End file.
